Sunday, June 20, 2010
Toy Story 3 (Lee Unkrich, 2010)
(WARNING: STORY DISCUSSED IN CLOSE DETAIL)
(Just in time for Father's Day, a little skit about Toy Story 3.
Scene: Dad and son, coming out of the multiplex)
D: So how'd you like the movie?
S: It's okay.
D: It's okay? What do you mean?
S: I mean 'it's okay.' It didn't suck. What do you want me to say?
D: I don't know, I spent twenty-six dollars on our tickets, you could at least tell me why 'it's' only 'okay.'
S: Well--for one thing, the movie's mostly for kids.
D: You're only ten.
S: Yeah, Dad, So?
D: Never mind. And how is it 'mostly for kids?'
S: It's about toys. Pixar's made three movies so far about toys. They made a movie about cars, a movie about a small junkyard robot, and a movie about balloons. They must think I still go to kindergarten. They don't really make movies that I might want to watch.
D: Hey, remember you're--
S: --only ten, Dad, I know. Remember that TV series we watched last year, that Master something...?
D: Master Keaton? By Masayuki Kojima?
S: Yeah, that one. I learned something about Greek culture, and Roman culture, and even how to fight back against two men with guns when all I have is a spoon, how to survive in the desert, all that. What did I learn from Toy Story 3?
D: It's dangerous to be garbage?
S: I keep thinking the Japanese are more adult or advanced when it comes to animation. At least they put in more cool stuff.
D: Didn't you at least find the jokes funny?
S: Oh, they're funny. American animated movies are always funny, and they make cool chase scenes. But even when they say they're doing grown-up stuff, they're only saying that. They haven't grown up, not really.
D: Haven't grown up? But the movie's about Andy leaving his toys behind. And that incinerator scene--
S: Andy's leaving his toys behind, but why the big fuss? Where is it written that toys have to be played with, or that a toy's greatest purpose is to give a child joy? If we're talking about toys that can think for themselves...I mean, what about that other movie, about toy soldiers against, whatchamacallem, those toy monsters--
D: Oh, Joe Dante's Small Soldiers (1998).
S: Yeah. The toys in that movie liked the boy and the boy cared for the toys, but they didn't hold on to each other as if they'd die if they let go. The toys up and went their own way, had their own adventures.
Woody and Buzz and company, they're so darn clingy. If they were my toys, I'd have donated them a long time ago.
D: And the incinerator? When they were clinging to each other and getting ready for the end? Didn't that make you tear up, just a little bit?
S: That's your fault, Dad. Remember when you showed me that movie about the two Japanese kids in World War 2?
D: Oh. Isao Takahata's Grave of the Fireflies.
S: They didn't have a pair of aliens send down a crane arm to save them, did they?
S: I liked Graves. It wasn't as funny or as fast-moving as this movie, but it was, I don't know how to put it. Honest? The movie just told things the way they are, no fooling.
D: I remember you didn't cry in that one either.
S: I promise not to tell anyone, Dad.
D: Tell anyone, about what?
S: I mean, it's okay to cry in a movie.
D: Who said anything about me crying?
S: Jacob B. told me his dad cried when they saw Saving Private Ryan. I almost cried when I saw Grave of the Fireflies, only I didn't.
D: So you won't tell anyone?
S: No. And it wasn't just that one. You showed me another movie from the same guy, the one about raccoons?
D: Oh, tanukis. Raccoon dogs. You mean Takahata's Pom Poko.
S: In some ways that was actually worse than Grave of the Fireflies. Grave you had only two kids. Pom Poko it's like a whole people gone--poof!--just like that. That's your inniserator moment.
S: Incinerator. So I've seen death and dying before in cartoons. This wasn't anything new. Plus I had another problem with that part of the movie.
S: That Lotso guy--he was nasty, right? And then they saved his life, right? So why did he turn back to being nasty?
D: Because it's his nature?
S: Then why did he bother acting grateful? That really bugged me. If someone saved my life, sure I can get nasty on them afterward, but there's got to be a good reason. I can't just change my mind in the middle of the action. I hate it when people pull that on me in a movie.
D: At least he got what he deserved.
S: Hung up in front of a truck, eating bugs for the rest of his life? Okay, maybe. But we're suppose to find that funny?
D: Didn't you find that last scene just a little bit moving?
S: It's--I don't know how to say it, Dad. Too loud? Too pushy? Like they're trying too hard to make you cry? After the movie I wanted to wash my hands and face, I felt so sticky.
D: Did you like anything in the movie?
S: Yeah. Did you see the totoro?
D: You mean the stuffed toy totoro?
S: That was cute. It reminded me of My Neighbor Totoro. I thought Totoro was sadder, though.
D: How so?
S: Because the mother couldn't be home. Because the kids missed her. Because--I don't know, the movie isn't, uh
S: Yeah, pushy. The sad feeling is there, but you have to notice it. They don't whack you over the head with it.
D: Okay. So do you want to go for an ice cream sundae?
S: Can we watch another movie instead?
D: I don't know if I'm ready for another.
S. If it upsets you again we can talk about it after.
D: That's what I meant.